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In the name of the gods

Ryan Davies
15/ 5/2008

CHRISTMAS is supposed to be the season of good will. But the sporting gods will surely never again be as generous as they have been in 2007/8.

And with a baby ready to drop at any minute it’s giving me a right old headache when it comes to names.

My wife may have a book of 100,000 babies’ names to help her to sleep at night, but with the unprecedented success of my sporting heroes this year, I’ve got nearly as many options to ponder.

Things may have got a little easier following the antics of Giggs and co. on Sunday afternoon.

Consumed in a moment of drunken merriment minutes after deciding goal, I rashly promised all within earshot that should United go on to claim a third European cup in Moscow the name of the scorer of the winning goal would automatically find its way on the birth certificate of my little unborn Red.

Now, I could probably sell Paul, Michael or Darren to my increasing rotund missus.

But convincing her to burden her first born with the name Nemanja, Ji Sung or, god forbid, Wayne, might prove a little more challenging.

But my problems don’t stop there.

It has also been a cracking season for my second favourite football team, FC United, who made it three promotions in as many seasons by qualifying for the Unibond Premier League courtesy of a heroic run through the play-offs.

Perhaps I should borrow a name from that folk hero of the Manchester Road End, the much loved ‘man with no name’ Rory Patterson.

And then, for a man as proud of his Welsh parentage as I, there is the famous Grand Slam triumph to take into account.

Any one of the many Joneses that wore the Red jersey to such distinction this year has proved themselves worthy of such a tribute. And what about Cardiff City’s barely believable charge to the FA Cup final?

I shouldn’t think Robbie Fowler need not get his hopes up, but may be there’s room for another Jimmy-Floyd or Riccardo in this world.

Yet despite all the glory that has heralded the arrival of Davies Junior, perhaps it is not so wise to give him the name of his father sporting heroes, after all.

Not because the youngster will be given the right to choose which colours to pin to its mast - far from it. Given my way I’d have it tattooed at birth to prevent any ‘misunderstandings’ further down the line.

But, what if he’s rewarded with, say, the middle name Cristiano only for the Portuguese fancy dan to upsticks to Madrid before the poor mite has reached its first birthday?

And what if – perish the thought – our top scorer has a complete loss of form at his new Iberian home and finds himself transferred to some footballing backwater, Anfield for example or the City of Manchester Stadium?

Lives have been ruined by less.

If only there was a name that appeared in the squads of all of these teams.

Amazing there is – its Ryan.

So there you have it, Ryan Davies Junior. It is not so hard this parenting after all.

The only problem I’ve got now is if it’s a girl…