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1. April 26 2007
South Manchester Reporter, Thursday 26 April 2007THE simplest form of robot I ever came across was a Moulinex Electric Mixer, which could turn out a great cake mix in the wink of an eye. Reminds me of a certain cake that when eaten can cause pain, sadness, heartache and great suffering. Can't remember what variety it was though. Got it now: wedding cake!
2. April 5 2007
South Manchester Reporter, Thursday 5 April 2007A GUY had a go at me last week. He reckons I'm a grumpy person who fails to see the humorous side of life. Me, grumpy? Me? The original Mr Happy? Well, a quick trawl through this week's news would make anybody fail to see the funny side of life.
3. April 19 2007
South Manchester Reporter, Thursday 19 April 2007OUR esteemed Chief Constable, Michael Todd is on record as stating that kids who wear body armour and carry guns are not intrinsically bad people, they are just a little sad.
4. April 12 2007
South Manchester Reporter, Thursday 12 April 2007I'VE ONLY just realised how representative of local life our wonderful South Manchester Reporter really is.
5. That's not what I had in mind for a punchline
South Manchester Reporter, Thursday 26 April 2007A COMEDIAN beaten up during his act by a heckler says the incident will not prevent him getting back on stage. Read the full story and see video of the incident here ...
6. Bradley accuses MP of gambling with 3,000 jobs
South Manchester Reporter, Thursday 12 April 2007WITHINGTON MP John Leech has been accused of gambling with his constituents' interests by opposing the creation of a supercasino in Manchester.
7. The heat is on for smokers
South Manchester Reporter, Thursday 5 April 2007PUB landlords across south Manchester are spending hundreds of thousands of pounds to try to beat the smoking ban by creating outdoor cigarette zones.
8. More than 2,000 voices demand to be heard
South Manchester Reporter, Thursday 19 April 2007A PETITION calling for the council to regenerate Levenshulme has just topped the 2,000 mark.
9. Young Alex is having a ball
South Manchester Reporter, Thursday 26 April 2007LITTLE Alex Croft has been given a new lease of life thanks to his footballing heroes at FC United.
10. We’re the worst area for pubs... bar none
South Manchester Reporter, Thursday 5 April 2007THREE years ago the village of Northenden boasted seven thriving pubs - now it has just two.